You thought you’d be looking forward to a blissful retirement with your spouse at 50. Instead, you find yourself a new member of the “Gray Divorce Club.” According to a recent study from Bowling Green University, the divorce rate among adults aged 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010. And as another study has shown, these Baby Boomer divorces are more often initiated by women. Read more
Subject No.1: Sharon
When we last saw Sharon and Robert in Part VIII of our ongoing series, the Marital Early Settlement Panel (MESP) had just recommended an equal value distribution of the couple’s marital property and debt, with Robert keeping the family home. Meanwhile, in Part IX, we saw Jason and Melissa working out their own property division with the assistance of their mediator. Today, we’ll look at the MESP’s recommendations regarding alimony and child support in Robert and Sharon’s case. Read more
Making a to-do list is a simple, but powerful tool to help you keep your calm and feel greater clarity about your future. When you are the beginning stages of divorce, it’s often helpful to make two specific kinds of to-lists: a procedural to-do list to organize the legal aspects of your divorce, and an emotional to-do list to tend to your inner life. Items to put on these lists? Here are some things to think about when you’re getting ready for divorce. Read more
In the aftermath of last week’s arrest of Anastasya Varvaryuk on charges she passed off fake divorce documents to unknowing couples from her storefront in Clifton, victims of the alleged divorce scam may be recovered enough from the shock of discovering they are still married to now be wondering: what’s next? Read more
In northern New Jersey over the weekend, an untold number of former spouses learned some unsettling news: the marriage they thought was over may not be, thanks to fraudulent divorce papers allegedly provided by an Elmwood Park woman. Read more
The prospect of untangling finances in your divorce and losing time with your children is wrenching. Add in uncertainty about your home, your lifestyle, and your social circle, and you may feel completely destabilized. You know your emotions are off-kilter if you experience any of the following:
– You can’t sleep,
– You can’t eat,
– You can’t concentrate on anything other than your divorce,
– You cry excessively,
– You’re consumed with guilt over the effect on your children, or
– You dream of exacting revenge on your soon-to-be ex.
Being in a state of turmoil when contemplating or deciding on getting divorced is common, and frankly, understandable. At the same time, when you go to your initial meeting with your divorce attorney, you will need to ask and answer questions about your finances, strategies, possible outcomes, and what you must do to protect yourself and your children. Beginning the legal process of divorce in as calm a state of mind as possible is important. How do you get there? Here are three ways to emotionally prepare for your initial divorce consultation. Read more
Telling someone who is undergoing a divorce — especially one that involves a custody dispute — to stay calm will generally evoke an “easy for you to say” response, perhaps with a few choice invectives thrown in for effect. Of course it’s preferable to stay calm; but how does one do that, exactly? How do you take the high road when your former spouse bad-mouths you, tries to turn your kids against you, gouges you financially, withholds child support, or in extreme cases, is physically violent? Read more
Not everyone who goes through a divorce will need a therapist. If you don’t share property and children, and you are emotionally resolved about your decision, you may not feel the need for extra support. If you do have children and/or own property together, however, divorce can feel apocalyptic. You may fear losing your home, your financial security, and time with your kids. You may feel unable to keep your fury towards your spouse in check, or you may have sunk into a state of depression. Sound familiar? Here are some signs it may be time to see a therapist who specializes in easing people through divorce transitions. Read more
As our phones ring off the hook with people calling to retain our attorneys before their spouses do, we wanted to let our valued callers know that we understand what they are going through and so have written this letter for you. Please be assured that we have brought on extra staff to handle your phone calls and are committed to being here for you throughout Saturday and even Sunday morning.
Dear Hurting Spouse,
Like you, we read and heard a great deal this week about AshleyMadison’s data breach, and about all those unsuspecting spouses whose husbands or wives cheated…or were at least exploring the possibility. When the news of the scandal first broke, you probably felt bad for these unknowing spouses. Not that you suspected anything about your own husband or wife. But then curiosity got the better of you. Read more
To a narcissist, divorce is more than a failure; it’s an ugly black mark across a carefully polished façade. Because a narcissist cannot tolerate anything less than perfection, his or her dysfunctional coping strategy is to place all the blame for the break-up at your feet. It doesn’t matter if your spouse was the one to initiate the divorce. Your mere existence is a reminder to the narcissist of having “failed,” and for that, you must be punished. Read more
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