7 Best Divorce Tactics For 2025
Getting a divorce in 2025? Entering the divorce process prepared helps you avoid common pitfalls and mistakes and gives you important tools to protect your future. Here is a look at common divorce errors to be aware of, with tactics to avoid these mistakes and achieve the best possible outcomes for you and your children.
1. Mistake: Thinking you need to file for divorce first
“Fine, I will file for divorce in the morning!” We all know the things that get said in the heat of the moment when making the decision to divorce. When it comes to actually filing for divorce to start the divorce legal process, however, take a step back from your emotions and think strategically when deciding when to actually file.
Here’s why: The date upon which divorce papers are filed (by either of you) establishes a cut off date for the accumulation of marital assets and retirement accounts. If you file on a Friday, and your spouse’s next contribution to their 401K is made the following Monday, this new amount typically won’t be eligible for division in divorce – the value of the 401K will be valued at the amount that was there on Friday when you filed.
Be strategic: Look at dates for certain deposits and interest statements and proceed with these in mind. Should you wait to file? On the other hand, if you are the spouse with the 401K, the best tactic may be not waiting to file once the decision to divorce has been made.
2. Mistake: Thinking you need to prove adultery or other fault to get divorced
As you start to fill out divorce papers, you will notice a laundry list of grounds (reasons) for divorce. You will need to check one, and if you’ve been cheated on, you may be wondering if you should choose “adultery.” You can, but beware that extra requirements come with this ground — and not many added benefits (if any). You will need to serve your ex’s paramour and spend precious time (and possibly the cost of a private investigator) proving that infidelity took place and you were justified in choosing the ground. Beyond the personal satisfaction of showing that your spouse was at fault for the end of your marriage, you probably won’t get a bigger settlement or more time with your kids.
Be strategic: You don’t have to prove fault to get a divorce. Filing for divorce on the “no fault” grounds of irreconcilable differences will get you all the same things in your settlement, but won’t require you to take the extra steps (like hiring a pricey PI). You own it to yourself to make your own divorce as simple and smooth as possible. Unless there is a compelling reason, spending resources on proving adultery is most likely unnecessary.
3. Mistake: Not exploring low conflict divorce alternatives
Maybe it’s because of all the judge shows on TV, but a real mistaken notion has taken hold that going before a judge in “divorce court” is the fastest, easiest way to get divorce over and done with. In truth, it’s the exact opposite! Going to court, rather than negotiating and settling on your own, can drag out the time it takes to divorce in New Jersey from a matter of months to several years, depending on the circumstances. Time spent going to court also means spending more money on divorce.
Be strategic: Yes, some divorce include issues that are absolutely better settled in court. However, the simple truth is that most divorces can be successfully negotiated without setting foot in a court room. Our 2025 divorce advice? Find out if a low conflict divorce method, such as mediation, is right for you.
4. Mistake: Overlooking the tax implications of alimony
Will you pay or receive alimony in your divorce? A few years ago, a major tax code revision changed how alimony is treated on federal tax returns. Before 2019, alimony payments were treated as a tax deduction for alimony payors, and income to claim for alimony recipients.
For any divorce or alimony order put in place in 2025, however, alimony must be claimed by paying spouses as part of their income. Recipient spouses do not need to claim alimony as income, giving them the benefit of receiving alimony tax-free.
Be strategic: Alimony is a highly negotiated item in divorce. Talk to your attorney about how tax effects can be taken into account in creating the fairest possible settlement. One tactic paying spouses sometimes prefer is to pay a lump sum alimony amount to avoid higher taxable income in future years. Those receiving alimony may be able to negotiate larger shares of other assets in exchange for their spouse making lowered alimony payments over fewer years.
5. Mistake: Not understanding child custody law in New Jersey
As you think about how to share time with your children with your spouse, it might surprise you to know that family law in New Jersey is written in gender-neutral language. There is nothing in the law that states that a child living with a mother is inherently preferable to the child living with a father, or vice versa. In practice this means that the courts strive for as close to 50/50 sharing of children as possible, in most circumstances.
Unless there is a history of abuse or neglect, or other extenuating factor, understand that your children will continue to have a relationship with their other parent, including spending time with their parent alone (via parenting time).
Be strategic: Consider your child’s best interests in maintaining close bonds with both of you to help them grow into an emotionally whole adult. What does that parenting time schedule look like? Start your negotiations there.
6. Mistake: Leaving the marital home while your divorce is pending
Unless you are in an incredibly hostile situation or abuse is present, think twice before volunteering to move out of the marital home. Just because your spouse asks or even demands that you leave, does not mean you are obligated to move out. Your house is your family home, and remaining there ensures that you continue to have frequent and continued contact with your kids. Voluntarily leaving your children in the home with your spouse essentially tells the court you are content being the non-custodial parent. Is this what you want? By staying in the home, you may be opening up more child custody options as your divorce moves forward.
By moving out, you may need to pay rent on a new place and still be required to pay marital bills, such as covering a share of the mortgage. Having to essentially pay “double the bills” each month can take a heavy financial toll at a time when you don’t need added financial stress. Being in the home also means that you can ensure that your home remains in good shape and market-ready if you decide to sell.
Be strategic: If your situation with your spouse is so uncomfortable or if you are fighting so much that it is affecting your children, it may be in everyone’s best interests to come up with a different living arrangement. If you do move out, it is important that you insist on a written, strong and detailed custody and parenting time plan so that there is no confusion when it comes to your time with your kids.
7. Mistake: Lying, fudging, or hiding assets
Before you’re tempted to fudge any numbers on your financial forms, understand that if you are caught, the potential penalty for hiding assets (or obfuscating the value of known assets) is just not worth it.
Be strategic: The easiest way to put yourself at a disadvantage for hanging onto a marital asset? Lie about it. If you’re still on the fence, please see our further reading on the topic: Why Hiding Assets Is Not An Option.
Have 2025 divorce questions? We’re here to help. Start safeguarding your future today by scheduling an initial attorney consultation with one of our skilled divorce specialists. Get answers to all your questions, and a clear strategy for moving forward. Call us at 888-888-0919, or please click the green button below.
