Want to get the most out of your mediation sessions? Reach desired outcomes in your divorce by learning how to recognize and avoid these seven common mediation pitfalls.
1. Entering Mediation Without Preparation
Many people make the mistake of going into mediation without first gathering all necessary financial documents, asset valuations, and other critical information needed for negotation and good decision-making. Without adequate preparation, you risk agreeing to unfair settlement terms (which then cost time and money to fix).
How to Avoid this Mistake: Take the time to organize your financial records, determine a realistic post-divorce budget, create some different custody arrangement you feel comfortable with, and make a wish list for marital assets — before negotiations begin.
2. Letting Emotions Take Over
Divorce is an emotional process, but allowing anger, resentment, or a desire for revenge to dictate decisions can prevent progress in mediation. Emotional reactions can lead to irrational choices — such as rejecting a fair settlement out of spite — and derail your divorce.
How to Avoid this Mistake: Approach mediation with a problem-solving mindset and seek support from a divorce therapist or other trusted advisor if needed. Keeping emotions in check will help ensure a more productive outcome.
3. Rushing the Process
Some individuals feel pressured to finalize an agreement quickly, often agreeing to terms that do not serve their best interests just to “get it over with.” However, divorce settlements have long-term consequences, and rushing the process can lead to regret later on.
How to Avoid this Mistake: Take your time to review all aspects of the agreement, and don’t be afraid to ask for clarifications or revisions before signing.
4. Being Too Passive or Too Aggressive
Going through mediation being too passive—agreeing to everything just to move on—can result in an unfair settlement that does not meet your needs. On the other hand, being overly aggressive and refusing to compromise can stall negotiations entirely.
How to Avoid this Mistake: The best approach is to advocate for yourself while remaining open to reasonable compromises that benefit both parties.
5. Failing to Consider Tax Implications
Dividing assets, determining alimony, and arranging child support all have tax consequences that many people overlook. A settlement that seems fair on paper might create unexpected financial burdens due to tax liabilities.
How to Avoid this Mistake: Before finalizing an agreement, consult a financial professional or attorney to understand how the settlement will impact your taxes both now and in the future.
6. Overlooking Parenting Plans and Future Changes
Parents often struggle to recognize that deciding custody requires a lot of give and take, with the child’s best interests as the top priority. A mediator cannot tell parents what to do, but can provide sample custody arrangements to help parents navigate the process.
One common mistake is making the demand for sole custody without realizing that this type of custody is reserved for exceptional circumstances. In typical situations, shared or joint custody is viewed as being in the best interests of the child. Entering mediation with unrealistic or unfair demands sets the stage for mediation breakdown.
How to Avoid This Mistake: Be open to exploring different custody arrangements with the help of a mediator, who can provide guidance and sample plans. Instead of making demands, consider what will provide stability, continuity, and emotional support for your child. A willingness to compromise and work toward a fair co-parenting plan will lead to better outcomes for everyone involved.
7. Not Having an Attorney Review the Final Agreement
Even if mediation is successful, failing to have the final agreement reviewed by a lawyer can be a critical mistake. Once signed, mediation agreements can be difficult to modify. Having an attorney review the final document before submitting it to the court ensures that your rights are protected and that the agreement is fair and enforceable.
How to Avoid this Mistake: Consulting with a family law attorney before or during mediation ensures that you fully understand what you are entitled to and can negotiate a fair agreement. Knowledge is power—don’t go into mediation without it.
Are You Ready to Mediate?
With the right mindset and strategy, mediation becomes an empowering opportunity to create a fair, practical, and positive agreement that supports your future and your family’s well-being.
To explore whether mediation is a good fit for your divorce, call us today to schedule a consultation with one of our family law attorney mediators. Call us at 888-888-0919 to schedule a consultation today.
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