7 Ways for Women To Financially Rebuild After a “Gray Divorce”
Divorce after 50 — often called “gray divorce” — is on the rise, with rates for older couples doubling over the past few decades. And while the reasons for splitting later in life vary, one thing remains consistent: women are at greater risk for financial uncertainty during and after their divorce.
According to the National Center for Family & Marriage Research, women ages 55 to 64 have, on average, 30% less saved for retirement than men. Even more troubling, nearly one-third of divorcing women don’t claim any share of their spouse’s 401(k) or pension — even after decades spent raising children, managing a household, and supporting the family in countless, invaluable ways.
If you fit the bill of a “silver splitter” who needs to work on a strategic plan for her financial big picture, here are seven smart ways to get started.
7 Steps to Start Over Financially After Divorce
Something to tell yourself: You’re not starting from scratch—you’re starting from experience.
Here’s where to focus your time and energy right now:
1. Don’t walk away without a fair settlement
You are legally entitled to your share of the marital assets, which can include retirement accounts, pensions, and investments. Is your spouse urging you to try a DIY divorce in order to save money? If you are trying to split years of accumulated marital assets, think twice before agreeing to go this route (and read our blog on a DIY gray divorce gone wrong.) Splitting assets like retirement accounts is complex and require extra legal steps. Consult with a divorce attorney with experience in later-life divorce to help you make sure nothing gets left on the table.
2. Understand your rights to alimony
Alimony can be an important lifeline, especially if there’s been a long-term income gap between you and your ex. Courts may award alimony to help you maintain a reasonable standard of living and give you time to rebuild financial independence. Special types of alimony can be awarded to pay for job retraining to return to the job market, or be a financial reimbursement if you supported your spouse in their career (i.e., you helped pay for their schooling or other made financial decisions in support of your spouse’s career). Whether it’s temporary or long-term, this support can help ease the transition. An attorney can help you understand what you’re entitled to and advocate for fair terms.
3. Retrain and rebuild your income
Your career doesn’t have to end at 50—it might just be getting started. Many women return to school or earn industry certifications to open up new possibilities, or they may shift to consulting, freelance work or remote work from home. Local community colleges and online programs offer flexible, affordable options to upskill and reenter the workforce on your terms (as noted above, alimony could help pay for this). Meeting with a career coach can help you explore your options.
4. Get a QDRO to claim retirement benefits
A Qualified Domestic Relations Order (QDRO) is essential if your ex had a 401(k) or pension plan. It gives you the legal right to a portion of those funds—without early withdrawal penalties. This step is often overlooked, but it can significantly impact your retirement security. Your attorney will be able to help you with this step.
5. Assess your retirement readiness
You don’t need all the answers right now, but you do need a plan. Sit down with a certified financial planner (CFP) to take stock of what you have, what you’ll need, and how to close the gap. You may decide to delay retirement, increase your savings, make a budget, or explore catch-up contributions to an IRA or 401(k).
6. Set up a savings plan
As you begin to rebuild your income, make it a priority to set up a dedicated savings account—separate from your daily spending. This creates a clear boundary between money you use and money you’re saving. Establish short- and long-term savings goals to stay motivated, track your progress, and build the financial security you need for this next chapter.
7. Know your Social Security options
Were you married for 10 years or more? You might be eligible for Social Security benefits based on your ex-spouse’s earnings record. Claiming this benefit won’t reduce their payout, and it can give you more breathing room in retirement—especially if your own work history is limited.
Have questions about divorce, retirement assets and how to rebuild financially? Schedule an initial consultation with one of our highly qualified family law attorneys and get answers to all your questions. Please call us at 888-888-0919, or click the button below.
