Narcissists thrive on control and manipulation, which often extends to financial aspects of divorce. Financial abuse, both during and after the process, can leave victims feeling trapped and powerless. Is your divorce from a narcissistic spouse putting your financial future at risk? Read on for tips and key strategies to help protect your assets and financial well-being.
How Narcissists Use Financial Control to Maintain Power
Narcissists thrive on control and power, and finances are a potent tool for maintaining this grip. During your marriage, your narcissist spouse may have controlled all financial accounts, or made unilateral financial decisions, or kept you in the dark about your family’s true financial situation. In divorce, these behaviors may still be present, only in slightly changed forms.
Financial control or outright financial abuse may still be found lurking in behaviors including:
Hiding Assets: Narcissists may go to great lengths to conceal hidden marital assets during a divorce. This could include transferring money to secret accounts, underreporting income, or using business entities to mask the true value of their holdings.
Manipulating Financial Information: They may provide incomplete or misleading information during divorce discovery, making it difficult to get an accurate picture of marital assets.
Using Money as a Weapon: Withholding temporary child support or spousal support, draining joint accounts, racking up debts in your name, or dragging out divorce proceedings to deplete your financial resources are common tactics used to maintain control and inflict financial harm.
Is your narcissist spouse manipulating your marital finances or hiding assets? Look for these clues
Uncovering financial manipulation can require vigilance and a proactive approach. Here are some steps to take if you suspect your spouse is hiding assets or manipulating financial information:
Document Everything: Start keeping detailed records of your spouse’s financial behavior and any discrepancies you notice. For example, where is the money coming from that you may see spent on lavish personal expenses? Or, why does it seem like you have no money when you know your spouse is a high-income earner? Are bill collectors calling you about strange debts you didn’t know existed? Collect bank and credit card statements, statements of other financial accounts, and tax returns. Look these over for evidence of unusual spending or withdrawals.
Documentation is power! In one recent case, a husband learned that his ex-wife had taken out several high-interest loans in his name during their separation, causing his credit score to plummet. After providing proof of her actions, the court not only held her in contempt but also ordered her to pay back the funds she had siphoned.
Use Discovery Tools Effectively: Don’t have access to accounts? During the divorce discovery process, your attorney can use legal tools such as subpoenas and depositions to obtain financial information from your spouse and third parties, including banks or business partners. When you obtain records, compare with the notes you’ve been taking. For example, did you notice that your spouse acquired a new laptop or went on vacation, but there is no corresponding bank or credit card information to match these payments? That could indicate a hidden bank account. Was your spouse always spouting off about cryptocurrency, but in discovery, no records of crypto accounts are included? This is a red flag for further investigation.
Obtain the Help of a Forensic Accountant: A forensic accountant can be invaluable in high-conflict divorces involving financial manipulation. They are skilled at uncovering hidden assets, analyzing financial documents, and providing a clear picture of the true marital estate. If you have a complex financial picture, including business investments, or your spouse holds cryptocurrency, working with a forensic accountant can provide a much more complete financial picture.
Consider the case of a New Jersey woman who suspected her husband, a successful business owner, was hiding income during their divorce. With the help of a forensic accountant, she discovered that he had been underreporting business revenue by funneling money through a side account under a relative’s name. By presenting this evidence in court, she was able to secure a fair settlement that reflected the true value of their marital assets.
Freeze joint accounts: In New Jersey, one effective tool to combat financial abuse is seeking a court order to freeze certain joint accounts during the divorce (sometimes referred to as financial restraining orders). For example, if there is concern that your spouse may dissipate marital assets by draining joint accounts or racking up huge debts on joint credit cards, you can ask the court to temporarily freeze certain accounts or prevent significant financial transactions without court approval.
These “financial restraining orders” can also prevent your spouse from taking out loans, transferring property, or making large purchases, ensuring that the marital estate remains intact while the divorce is pending.
Protecting Yourself in a Narcissist Divorce — And Beyond!
If you are divorcing a narcissistic spouse, it’s crucial to take proactive steps to protect your financial future. This starts with having an attorney by your side who understands the perils of divorcing a narcissist — and knows how to overcome them. At Weinberger Law Group, we understand the unique challenges posed by high-conflict divorces and financial abuse. Our specialist team is ready to help you navigate this difficult time with confidence and clarity.
Request Your Consultation Today to learn more about safeguarding your rights and securing a fair financial outcome. Your peace of mind and future security are our top priorities.
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