Stop viewing your child’s other parent as the enemy: Of course, this is easier said than done, especially when that person seems to be fighting you tooth and nail simply for the sake of fighting. The basis of many child custody battles is the inability of parents to understand why their child should maintain full and healthy relationships with each of them. Put aside hostile feelings and work toward collaborating with your ex to come up with a workable custody and parenting time plan that benefits both of you and, most importantly, your children.
Be realistic in what you are demanding: Many people dealing with custody issues, you may be inclined to chose one type of custody arrangement because the name sounds appealing. Angry parents demand sole custody because they are angry with their ex and do not want them to have time with the children. This is an unrealistic position and will lead to a huge custody battle, one that you may lose. Before you make any decision, take the time to understand what types of custody there are and what they entail. You may find that after discussing the types of custody with a qualified family law attorney that the type of custody you initially believed was right for you is actually not the best option.
Get advice from an experienced family law attorney: Your best friend’s brother may be a phenomenal tax attorney that you have known for years. This does not mean that he is a qualified attorneys with any experience practicing in the local family court system. New Jersey child custody laws are complex attorneys unfamiliar with these laws are at risk for ramping up custody battles because they don’t know how to diffuse them. Be sure to hire a knowledgeable and experienced New Jersey family law attorney, preferably one who practices solely family law.
Don’t make false accusations against your ex: When custody battles break out and false accusations that one parent is “unfit” or worse are hurled, a straightforward custody issue turns into an all-out worst nightmare situation. If you and your child’s other parent have developed an adversarial relationship, avoid opportunities to tag and be tagged with false allegations of any kind, by keeping a daily custody journal that details your daily events, no matter how mundane they may seem. And, as angry as you may be, avoid making false allegations at all costs. It harms the other parent, your child, and your case, if the false allegations come to light and what you are alleging is proven wrong in court.
No matter what your relationship is with your ex-partner, there is simply no room in your children’s lives for needless battles, hostility or hatred. Your children — and your peace of mind — will be better off if everyone agrees to try to reach common ground.
Having trouble working together with your ex? Need advice or guidance regarding a custody or any other family law issue? We can help. Please contact us today to schedule your initial consultation with one of our highly skilled New Jersey family law attorneys.
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