Does your relationship leave you feeling hurt and confused? Do you savor memories of the good times in order to block out the bad? If these patterns feel familiar, you may be with a narcissistic abuser. In order to leave a narcissist, you first need to understand the tactics they use to win you back. Read more
Trapped in a high conflict divorce with an intrusive ex-spouse who thinks you can do nothing right? Are their attempts to manage the way you spend child support or parent the kids making you feel like you’re living in a dictatorship? Read on to learn more about controlling exes and what you can do to regain peace of mind. Read more
Divorcing a narcissist is far more challenging than divorcing a “regular person.” Are you locked in a battle with a combative ex? Here are some important tips and tools you can use to keep conflict in your divorce to a minimum. Read more
While most people exhibit some irrational or unpleasant behavior during the pressure cooker of divorce, people with high-conflict personalities are experts at creating drama and chaos. They respond to the grief of a failed marriage by blaming you for the divorce and any problems the kids might have. Because they need a target, they will probably not “get over it” in time. Wondering if your ex might be a high-conflict personality or whether you are in a high conflict divorce? Take this yes/no quiz to find out. Read more
In divorce, narcissistic parents often buffer the pain of a failed marriage by trying to destroy their ex’s relationship with the children. Unlike healthy parents, who aim to work themselves out of a job by preparing children to live independently, a narcissist sees their kids as extensions of themselves. They cannot tolerate the thought that their children might grow up to chart their own course. Read more
The goal of traditional talk therapy is to help clients live and express themselves authentically. When divorcing a high-conflict personality (HCP), however, you need to learn how to be strategic in communicating with your spouse. A therapist who understands how to work with high-conflict divorce can give you the tools to manage your life when your ex is trying to make it unmanageable. Some of these include… Read more
In a couple of recent posts, we discussed what it can be like to go through a divorce from a narcissist. In “Divorcing a Narcissist: 5 Steps to Protect Yourself” we talked about how your narcissistic soon-to-be-ex-spouse might blame you for everything and try to control every aspect of the divorce—including your post-divorce life. In “Divorcing A Narcissist: 5 Strategies For Getting Through It” we offered some tips for defusing high conflict interactions with an ex who feeds on conflict and will stop at nothing in trying to gain the upper hand.
If you’ve been reading all of this and you recognize your own ex in our descriptions, you might be feeling more than a little bit discouraged and intimidated. Perhaps you were hoping for a low conflict divorce, were considering mediation, or at least hoped to settle some of your issues out of court. If your ex is so self-centered that seeing anyone else’s side is out of the question, how can you possibly proceed?
Well, take a deep breath and a step back while we take a closer look at some of these issues: Read more
One of the most overwhelming things about going through a divorce is trying to wade through all the information about how to do it the “right” way and decide what’s right for you. Well-meaning friends and family may give you advice that tends to apply to someone with a reasonable ex. But what if you don’t have one of those? When you have a spouse who tends to be a narcissist, it can mean that you may in for additional stress or all-out war in your divorce…unless you learn how to defuse this high conflict personality type. What works to keep tension in check? Here are five strategies to help you get through your divorce from a narcissist with your sanity intact. Read more
To a narcissist, divorce is more than a failure; it’s an ugly black mark across a carefully polished façade. Because a narcissist cannot tolerate anything less than perfection, his or her dysfunctional coping strategy is to place all the blame for the break-up at your feet. It doesn’t matter if your spouse was the one to initiate the divorce. Your mere existence is a reminder to the narcissist of having “failed,” and for that, you must be punished. Read more
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