Tag Archive for: parenting time

Kids And Divorce: Are You A Psychological Parent?

Are you a psychological parent?There is an interesting theory in New Jersey family law—that of the psychological parent. In today’s world, there are all different types of families. The “blended” family is becoming more and more common since the days of The Brady Bunch. Many moms and dads remarry, creating stepparents and stepchildren; half siblings and stepsiblings. Same-sex couples have children, where one of the couple is the biological parent and the other is not.

When a third person, not the biological mom and dad, takes an active role in the life of a child, he or she can become what is known as a “psychological parent.” Does this describe you? Read more

Top Co-Parenting Tips For A Smooth Handover At Holiday Time

holiday divorced co-parenting

Holidays can be a challenging time for divorced families especially when people crave glowing, Norman Rockwell-type gatherings. It can be upsetting having to split holiday time with your ex and knowing that the person passing the gravy to your kids is not you, but your ex’s new partner.

These experiences, combined with the cultural expectation to have a Hallmark holiday, can send divorced parents into emotional overload. So how do you keep your charged feelings from spilling over onto your kids? Especially at handover time, which can seem like traversing an emotional minefield? Here are some tips for managing holiday drop-offs with true co-parenting finesse. Read more

High Conflict Divorce: When Co-Parenting Doesn’t Work, Try Parallel Parenting

high conflict divorce hurts kidsCo-parenting, viewed by therapists and family law professionals as the gold standard for post-divorce parenting, works when both parents are willing and able to set aside their personal grievances and support their child’s relationship with the other parent. To do this, both parents need to be able to communicate calmly, follow the conditions of the custody and child support order, and agree on a plethora of child-related issues such as medical care, education, religious training, and discipline.

Negotiating child rearing is a tall order, even for two people who love each other. It’s an even taller order for two reasonably well-adjusted people whose irreconcilable differences have led them to end their marriage. But if both people are determined to keep their children off the battleground of their divorce, they can usually learn the skills necessary to become successful co-parents.

High-conflict personalities, however, frequently lack the motivation to co-parent because, by definition, they are unable to work through their anger at the other party. Read more

5 Rules for Successful Co-Parenting After Divorce

Co-parenting is often considered the gold standard for parenting after divorce, but what does this term even mean? Read more

5 Summer Co-Parenting Tips For Divorced Families

Kids playing at the beach

With schools out for summer, it’s normal for parenting routines to change. Bedtimes tend to be later, kids might attend camp or lessons, and maybe a special trip is planned. For divorced or separated parents, summertime can mean even more changes in your family life, some of which may be stressful, especially if your kids will spend extended time with their other parent or your agreed parenting time schedule changes over school vacation.

Not sure how you will manage summer vacation as a co-parent? Here are 5 tips on how to cope and keep your cool. Read more

Wife Forbids Contact With Children After Husband’s Affair

Divorce and Separation concept

Luke and Karen have two young children. After discovering Luke was having an affair, Karen informed him that she would be filing for divorce and that he was to pack his bags and leave. Luke moved out, but specifically rented an apartment nearby so he could still be close to the kids. Once he was settled in, Luke called Karen and asked her if the children could spend the weekend with him. Karen told him in no uncertain terms that he was not worthy of seeing his children after what he did to her, and promptly hung up. Karen then refused to take any more of his calls or answer his texts.

Luke had no idea how to proceed or what his rights as a father were. He was aware that couples with children who divorce end up with a child custody order as part of their divorce decree. However, he and Karen were only separated, and it would be some time before their divorce even really began (Karen had yet to serve him with papers). What was he supposed to do in the meantime? Read more

Top Tips for Successful Halloween Co-Parenting

Halloween fun

This year October 31 falls on a Friday, which, as a newly separated or recently divorced parent, you may already be aware is the traditional day of the week when children switch homes for weekend visitation with their other parent. What does this mean for Halloween? No matter where your child spends it, here are some co-parenting tips for how to make trick-or-treating safe and fun for everyone. Read more

Understanding the Signs of Parental Alienation

Your child’s other parent won’t let you talk on the phone to your son or daughter. Your child acts shy or resentful around you until it finally comes out that your ex has been saying some pretty awful things about you behind your back. And then one day, you go to your designated location to pick up your child for the weekend only to find no one there. When you text your former spouse to ask what’s going on, you receive a reply telling you that your child doesn’t want to see you. Is this the truth — or is it parental alienation? Read more

Making Child Custody Exchanges Work for Everyone

After a child custody matter is settled and a parenting time plan is put in place, for many parents, this is where the hard work of co-parenting truly begins. If you and your former spouse or partner still aren’t on the same page, or there is still animosity between the two of you, one place where this tension often becomes a disaster waiting to happen is during child custody exchanges. Your ex-spouse may be running late, or the pick up time suddenly doesn’t work with your schedule, your child is clingy, or just the sight of this person still makes your blood boil — and the feeling is mutual. How do you get around these type of issues to make child custody drop offs and pick up more peaceful and safe for everyone? Read more

New Jersey’s “High Conflict” Parenting Coordinator Program Ends


As 2012 ended, so did New Jersey’s 5-year-old Parenting Coordinator Pilot Program. According to a notice sent from Acting Administrative Director of the Courts Glenn Grant, the decision to shut down the program as of Nov. 26, 2012 came at the request of the Conference of Presiding Family Judges and the Supreme Court’s Family Practice Committee. All approved placement forms for the program — which had been in place for local counties in Bergen, Middlesex, Morris, Sussex and Union vicinages — are now terminated. Likewise, the roster of parenting coordinators once found on the New Jersey Judiciary’s website is also gone. Read more